It's true because someone that knows told someone else about it

The very latest ITK. Don't shoot the messenger. Just shoot everyone else. 

How to change a light-bulb. From 2009.

Excited? Just another day to get through and transfer deadline day is upon us. Norwich away to get through first. Defoe fit and ready (thanks to an injection). Holtby in the squad - so cue ridiculously high expectations for him to morph into a hybrid of Modric and van der Vaart with countless assists and goals. Or else the Tottenham Facebook army will run havoc and chaos with disdain. All AVB's fault is the mantra if you've already forgotten it.

January. Christ, I hate it. Returning to work after two weeks annual leave. Hundreds of emails staring back at me with over-bearing red flags by their side. Countless meeting requests and conference calls to respond to. If I had hair on my head, I'd pull it out. I've got hair everywhere else but I have no intention of plucking it, regardless for my initial disdain towards the beginnings of a new year.

Resolutions is another bane. I always half-heartedly promise myself that I will detox. Then I remember why I suggested this the very first time many years ago. I was taking the p*ss out of the people that we're taking it seriously. At some point parody merged with reality and I allowed to be consumed by it all. Thankfully, I also tend to consume plenty of drink and food making any proposed detox redundant as early as the first of January.