If the first half was a sexy woman wearing a raincoat and a paper bag over her head, the second half was the same woman minus the raincoat, in black lingerie teasing and flirting, leaving you with a wide smile splashed over your face at the conclusion of her dance. Okay, so I have a colourful and chequered past (which for the record doesn't include a paper bag fetish) involving lap dancing clubs. I'm also probably the only person comparing a game of football to a private dance. The fact is, there was happy ending. With the football. The football had a happy ending.

We're at home. It's a derby match. We need not only the three points but also to be convincing and entertaining. Confidence, it breeds momentum but also belief. And it heals. Much like one game can bring the negatives, one game can drown them out with positives.