Spurs v Spammers: Match Thread

Line-up.

Cudicini

Hutton, Corluka, Bassong, Bale

Lennon, Jenas, Huddlestone, Modric, Van der vaart

Crouch

SUBS: Pletikosa, Palacios, Sandro, Kranjcar, Giovani, Pavlyuchenko, Keane.

Yes, that's Charlie at CB. Shudder. Middle five looks epic, as long as JJ turns up for it. Not short on creation. No King, Bassong or Kaboul. In fact, no defenders on the bench. Not one. Champions League the priority for Harry. Stud Bale at left-back. I'm disappointed. But BAE picked up a knock, so tinkering had to be done. Gallas I guess is still not 100%.

Having also seen the West Ham side; Green, Jacobsen, da Costa, Upson, Gabbidon, Dyer, Parker, Noble, Boa Morte, Obinna, Piquionne - shame on us if we lose this.

Feel free to discuss away in the comments section. If my baby girl allows me, I'll be updating this blog article as the game progresses.

To dare is to do do do...

1st Half

04:47 mins. Free kick outside the box after first proper attack. Ooh set-piece. Let's see how we manage to fudge this one up.

06:36 Close. Off the wall. Corner. Wasted. vdV busy busy busy at the mo.

07:18 Dyer fires wide. From the corner, another effort from West Ham. Biting of the nails.

09:28 Textbook West Ham so far. High tempo, pressure, be it resulting with deflections for corners. Need to try and put the olde studs on ball and take the pace out of it.

10:55 CC saving a shot, not masterful stopping. All West Ham. Sigh.

12:24 Bale forward. Stopped. WH counter. Boa Morta turning past Hutton. Comes to nothing, but still, this is getting a tad silly now.

14:27 Jenas with a shot. Green saves. First effort. Still have yet to have a patch of possession on this game yet.

15:23 Dyer on fire. Cheeky bid?

16:10 That midfield five just can't get hold of it at the moment. I guess with no defensive/holding midfielder in there, it's proving nigh impossible at the moment to do much other than the odd cameo run forward. Hammers fans with the Oles. Statue being built as I type outside the ground.

20 minute mark - Not a lot to say other than West Ham have been dominant, without exactly carving us up, but showing far more positivity in attack, earning corners and asking questions. We've don't little in response, be it a free-kick from vdV and the Jenas shot (as I type another vdV shot, saved well by Green). Huddlestone quiet as a mouse. All a bit dis-jointed.

22:00 Another leftie from vdV. Wide.

27:11 Starting to hold the ball a bit better. Still, our players looked bored.

29:00 1-0 West Ham. Yay.

31:15 So, have we gone and lost that away day magic from last season? We look poor, disinterested, incapable of taking the game by the scruff.

33:23 Great defending for the goal by the way. Forgot to mention that.

34:50 Parker into the box, good tackle from Charlie. This is pretty shit, no?

35:50 Just like watching Barca at the moment.

38:00 Free-kick, cross in, comes to nothing but the ball gets back onto the wing, crossed back in, Moddle with  the shot, SuperMan Green to the rescue, save onto the woodwork.

42:19 vdV cross-cum-shot, Crouch not quite getting on it. Not exactly what I was hoping for all this.

44:58 Coming up to HT. Crouch header over. Should have mentioned, Dyer went off earlier. Cheeky bid off.

Half-Time - 9 shots to our 7. It's been piss poor. Making them look decent, which is a massive achievement in itself, for us to be so out of this game in terms of application and desire. WH deservedly in front. As for us, it's not like we haven't had a go, but shooting and watching Green save is not good enough. We are meant to be stamping some of that quality onto the pitch, but it seems we have no strength centrally to take control. Time for a sub me thinks. Hopefully, vdV is okay. Looked to have picked up a knock.

So, shit first half. Honestly, only Spurs can make West Ham look good. Still, they deserve to be ahead. Can see us losing this 2-0 if we don't change our attitude. Having better quality players is not good enough if all they're going to do is swan around.

2nd Half

Okay, so here go. Can we have our Tottenham back please?

48:00 Like I said in the original post, Bale at left-back...wasted. We need him in midfield. Let's not forget, this is a struggling Hammer's side. Have a sodding go at them. They're confident at the moment, but one goal back and they are likely to collapse.

51:15 Hudd shot. Close. Another decent effort. But still, all from distance.

53:23 More in the game now. Just nothing decisive.

54:46 Oh dear. Hudd around Green, tries a shot, complete mess. Had he crossed it for Crouch...had he...

60:00 Okay, what did I miss? Had to leave the stream for several minutes. Daughter is teething, so had to use some of that powder on her gums that looks like cocaine. Talking of which, I could do with a couple of lines round about now. 30 minutes left. It's not looking good on the pitch at Upton Park. I'll be screaming like my baby girl by the full 90 at this rate.

64:55 Another CC save. Living dangerously. WBA 2-0 up at Arsenal. No doubt the scum will score three goals in the final ten.

65:34 Lennon off. Keane on. Game number 300 for our Robbie.

67:17 Did I say shame on us if we lose this? I'm standing by that statement. 

69:10 "Why are we making this look sooo difficult?! Its sodding west ham! FFS!" - Bimspur.

71:00 I'm fast losing interest now. It's all about the players right, not formation? Well Harry, it's much ado about nothing out there.

73:43 Cracking save from CC from Noble. Cracking. Cracks in our team mind.

77:10 Run into the box from JJ. Shot wasn't a cross wasn't a shot wasn't a cross.

77:36 vdV off. Good shift. Gio on. Ho hum.

78:19 Mighty scramble in our box. Which has seen more action than that call-girl skank off the X-Factor.

79:37 Crouch off. Pav on. The nightmare is complete.

81:13 If it stays 1-0 then its proof that West Ham United are level-pegged with us in stature and thus our rivals.

82:56 Champions League, it's all we've got, Champions League, it's all we've got...

84:44 Worst. Free-kick. Ever.

85:59 Keane effort. Keane of old might have had that.

88:04 Well done Spammers. Find those keys the trophy cabinet.

88:41 Yep. Given up I have.

Full-Time Shame on us. WH fully deserving of the three points, as shit as they are, they at least wanted it today. We did our usual apologetic attempts of botheredness. Not good enough Harry. Not good enough Spurs. Momentum. When are we going to have some?

Conclusion? Not much of one. Half-arsed performance. No effort, not urgency, no desire. West Ham tired, but fuck me, they're not exactly a team built up of quality and depth are they? And yet they won. We failed to score. I'd rather be trashed out of sight than to lose because we're as limp as a 99 year old cock.

Sorry Spurs. So sorry.

PS. Three points off 4th. It's not over yet !!!!1111 COYFS !!!!!!!!111