A hellmouth of 'ITK' exclusives

How queer. I mention something about 'In the Know' information and someone provides us all with a summary of the past couple of months. You'll like this. Possibly one or two snippets of info that have been missed, but generally what you are about to read are all the supposed 'connected' people who have inside knowledge to share. This was posted on the Spurs Community forum by Stoof (good man) and covers ITK since the month of April. The info has been gathered from various forums, including GG.net, FTL and the SC.

APRIL

We start on 8th April - which makes is some sort of pre-window record I believe, with noodles saying we want Carrick with some money and are willing to part with the "crown jewels".

dragon1 then piped up a week later saying that Berbs wanted out "100%" - not giving us any choice but to ask for £40 million.

Contact made with Capel according to MadridSpur on 16th April. The plot thickens.

S.LondonSpurs on FTL says Berbatov is 80% a Spurs player next year, midfield to be built around him and Keano too. Apparent problem with Jol?

willdayid on this very site has a friend whose cousin is John Bostock the Crystal Palace wunderkidd. On his way to t'Lane. That takes us to 17th April and some Dan Ashcroft (of SC) news: a promising Leeds youngster, an attacking midfielder been watched numerous times by DC.

A trek over to Spurs Odyssey on April 20th saw Marcspurs with a link to Paul Kemsley running his mouth about, of all people, the buck-toothed one, A.K.A. Ronaldinho. Wants to come to the Premiership, and to London.

noodles still convinced on the 22nd April that Berba is off to either Barcelona or Real Madrid and then BEN thinks that Santa isn't just for Christmas, and Santa Cruz could be Berbatov's successor.

Luka Modric signs and then dragon1 says this shows our ambition to the sulky one. We've hit 26th April now.

Archibald from Spurs Odyssey then pipes up, saying that Modric is one of a big four for us. Capel and Diaz/Jarque are goers together with one of Kameni, Samahanovic (?) and Amelia.

Some more Odysseying from o.kristensen: Comolli was in Norway (Drammen to be exact) regarding a player called Per Ciljan Skjelbred. Yeah. Dam right. Hard-working CM, but then again you all knew that. Rabbi Crackers - Berbatov going 100%. Only overseas bids considered.

Eto'o and his agent at the Lane - that's Lane where we play, not Lodge where we sign - Paul said the first bit on 28th April - he's a Spurs Odysseyite. yiddobrett from this site said Keane could leave because of a lot of substituting - he doesn't believe it though. And quite frankly nor do I!

nicdic, Rumour Ranger extraordinaire, then got some News Of The World information that Berbatov has not gone yet, good chance that he could stay; that Eto'o is definitely a possibility and that Villa is definitely leaving ol' Valencia. Galahad, a distant Goat relative , said that there's a strong push for Clemente ... some cryptics that gave guesses of Fabiano and David Villa.

Still in April and MadridSpur says that we've made contact with Villa, some Eto'o interest and Ronaldinho's off to Italy. Scout says "berbs gone" and we're very close to a massive massive signing ... this was in April.

Somebody on COYS was talking about Levy being busy and French people and players with "oo" in their name. I'm thinking Samassi Abou. Leics_Spur on FTL thinks Spurs could be making a run on McGeady - they were the noises coming out of Parkhead on 29th April.

MadridSpur said Joaquin was "being hawked around" ... we've been offered his services. Villa: "discussions are advanced". To round off April TraderSpur on COYS was told by the same agent who gave him Kameni information in January that the deal has been done for 6.8 million yoyos.

MAY

donw001 on SC thinks that unless Ledley grows new legs, he's done. Smiling and nodding about Berbatov going ... and also about Barcelona and Eto'o.

It's obvious that Kaboul is going, at least it was to Archibald on 2nd day of May, Pompey have offered us a cut-price £5m but he wants to re-aller a la France. Taarabt transfer request, Disco Stu likes Transfer Music. Bordeux after NoPass after this revelation.

noodles said on the same day that we're working hard on swapping Berbatov for Eto'ooooo. Archibald on 5th May said we're off to Portugal for a DM and Manchester United are interested in this unnamed player too.

We're well after Cuellar and Capel. Innit, said Mr BEN on the 6th of this month. More FTL antics, this time from Alex who said that we're after the Nigerian forward: Ike Uche from Getafe.

arnie123 said that Berbatov has been sold to AC Milan and Disconosebleed from SC said that Huddlestone is available for transfer, as well as birthdays, weddings and bamitzvahs. Offered to a Prem club - this was from 7th May.

Johnnydx85 said, one day later, that Berbatov is 100% off, Comolli will be sacked soon as Mr Levy doesn't like him and whilst not liking him, he's in Portugal buying a midfielder. Johnny assumed it was Veloso and told us to enjoy the rest of our days. Nice.

JurgenTheGerman gave us an even more entertaining twist to the Berbatov saga in that Shaun Wright-Phillips and Nicolas 'The Sulk' Anelka could be involved in a deal.

GGSpur on COYS said that Comolli had been to South America four times in the last few weeks, so he's got some serious air miles going on. Dan Ashcroft gave us an essay of ITK, Berbatov being biddily accepted. They are coming from Milan, Fiorentina and Athletico. None over £20m. Fiorentina included Frey. Berbatov is not unhappy to stay, it's the pressure from his nation to follow in other's footsteps. Kameni is not on our shortlist, and we've never wanted Diarra. Jarque wants to move to us. Veloso meeting on the cards and some sort of provisional agreement on the cards, perhaps heads of terms supposes Stoof. Disco Taarabt has not requested a move. Names scouting/scouted: Howson, Obertan, Fornaroli, Hugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble. No Grub. Exits for Lee, Chimbonda, Stalteri ( ) Gardner and Rocha in the biggest exodus of defenders ever. All incomings will be big money signings. Yay.

Archibald on this very day said that we're after Joe Hart by offering Robbo and some cash. Kameni and Handonyourcockvic (Handacovic - seems he can't make up his mind on the spelling ) are on the radar as are Amelia and Stekelenberg. JurgenTheGerman also persisted with SWP and Anelka story.

Now go take a cold shower you dirty dirty whore.