Well that escalated quickly...

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So, rumours turn to statements. The first is from investment company Cain Hoy headed by Jonathan Goldstein (a massive Spurs fan and season ticket holder - that old chestnut) with business connections to some of the biggest hedge fund managers on the planet. We're talking Joe Lewis x 10. That's combined assets accumulating into the hundreds of billions. Goldstein was the head of Guggenheim's European investment division that has links to both the US, UK and Europe. Guddgenheim were also involved in purchasing the LA Dodgers (2.5 billion dollars) and investing in the team. Sound good to you?

My simplistic understanding (as all of this information has been snatched from re-tweeted posts on Twitter) is that Cain Hoy have different members/companies backing them. Here's the knock-out twist - they were only formed yesterday (that's uk operations, they registered themselves early 2014). Not sure if 'consortium' is the correct term, but they've pulled their resources together for the purpose of what looks to be a hostile take-over of THFC. If they follow up on their statement within the time period allowed.

Couple of things.

What exactly is a massive Spurs fan? Is that someone that frequents Chick King before and after every home game? And as for a hostile take over (Spurs are not a PLC so any given company wanting to buy us would have to pay up what Lewis and Levy want - a bit like that unfinished business with Archway holding out for what they want before we flatten their land). Spurs were bought for £20M or so. They could be sold for a billion.

Also, how does an aggressive takeover play out? Will Goldstein turn up with a boom box, spitting lyrics and ether in a rap battle with Levy before claiming victory and beating him up, telling all on-lookers '...this bitch is now mine'.

Yeah, this is EXACTLY what we need after appointing a new coach and looking to concentrate on some much needed stability with the football part of the club (remember that? It's the game with the green grass and round thingy).

So, CH's statement for those that love a bit of legal:

“Cain Hoy Enterprises, LLC ("Cain Hoy") notes the recent speculation in relation to a potential approach to Tottenham Hotspur Limited ("Tottenham Hotspur").

“Cain Hoy confirms that it is at the preliminary stages of assessing a cash offer for Tottenham Hotspur. Cain Hoy's considerations are at an early stage, and there can be no certainty that any offer will ultimately be made or at what price any offer might be made.

“In accordance with Rule 2.6(a) of the City Code on Takeovers and Mergers (the "Code"), Cain Hoy must, by not later than 5.00 p.m. on 10 October 2014, either announce a firm intention to make an offer for Tottenham Hotspur in accordance with Rule 2.7 of the Code or announce that it does not intend to make an offer, in which case the announcement will be treated as a statement to which Rule 2.8 of the Code applies. This deadline will only be extended with the consent of the Takeover Panel (the "Panel") in accordance with Rule 2.6(c) of the Code.

“This announcement has been made without the consent of Tottenham Hotspur. A further announcement will be made in due course.”

ENIC and Daniel Levy's response? This gem:

Tottenham Hotspur Limited ("THFC") notes the continuing press reports surrounding a potential takeover and the announcement released by Cain Hoy Enterprises, LLC ("Cain Hoy"). THFC confirms it is not in takeover discussions with Cain Hoy or any other party.

As stated in yesterday's announcement regarding the new stadium project, THFC has been in discussions with multiple providers of finance so that the optimum financing package for the project can be achieved and, in the course of those considerations, has met representatives of Cain Hoy. However, there are no ongoing discussions with Cain Hoy.

The Club is focused on the new stadium development and the season ahead.

Spurs reference talks whilst the CH statement says there has been no consent from the football club, hence the hostile takeover suggestion. What's going on? Not a lot at the moment. Just words on websites. Spurs are seeking 'optimum financing' to aid with the slow brooding NDP. Are Cain Hoy the package they are seeking? Or have investors come together to form CH because they can see desperation and opportunity with ENIC's current predicament and lack of funding?

I haven't got a clue. I'm more concerned about Sunderland away and the three points to aid recovery of the spanking Liverpool dished out to us before International Break bored me to sleep.

In the grand scheme of things, if one investment company buys property from another and the new owners pay for the stadium to be built then perhaps we'll stop drowning in the business world and start immersing ourselves with the progression of our football club - that's the club that gives us moments of heartache and glory rather than the club that deals with accountancy and net spend. Then again, both are pretty much connected at the hip and people would applaud a new owner investing in everything. Dear Mr Goldstein...that might just work. I'll hold off from registering the domain for now. Another glorious conspiracy is that Levy is part of CH, will stay on as chairman and have the £ to finally kick on with the stadium rebuild, with Joe Lewis happy with his cut when ENIC finally let go of their ownership. Seriously, I just wrote that and I've not had a drop of rum.

What sums all of this up is the fact that we've been treated to three official club statements in a week. Levy having no trouble in setting us straight when it comes to the accountancy part of the club. Shame he isn't as giving when it comes to that green grass and round thing stuff.

With thanks to @MarcAron18, @StevenLDN, @LyallThomas for all the butchered information I've squeezed into this blog.