Forget about the price tag
Moving on from Eminem, Stan and stalking the chairman...
With thanks to Jessie J (she hasn't got a clue but she wont mind) and the other credited writers (takes a team of people to write a pop song these days) for the original lyrics from her hit single Price Tag, borrowed and butchered for this blog and turned into a musical musing about our current forward plight. I’d ask you to enjoy but it’s no laughing matter. Much like auto-tuned music.
Okay, Comolli Man, Frankie Arne and Pleaty
You ready?
[Spooky]
Seems like everybody’s forgot to score,
I wonder if they should train all night
When the cross comes first,
And the miss comes second,
You stop, for a minute and
Swear
Why is everybody so calamitous
Acting so damn Rasiakious
You got blindfold on eyes
And boots back to front
That you can’t even show your t-shirt
[Pre-chorus]
Everybody pass to the left (bale)
Everybody hoof to the right (no)
Can you feel that (oh dear)
We’re never gonna score tonight…
[Chorus]
It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just have to sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain’t about the (tall) Cra-Crouch Cra-Crouch
Aint about the (Russian) Pav-Pling Pav-Pling
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag
[Spooky - Verse 2]
We need to take it back in time,
When Harry made us all unite
And it wasn’t all mis-hits and sitters,
Am I the only one gettin…twitchy?
Why is everybody so obsessed?
4-5-1 can’t buy us Prem success
Can we all slow down and play it on the ground
Guarantee we’ll be swaggerin’
Lilywhites
[Pre-chorus]
Everybody moan to the left (ffs)
Everybody groan to the right (christ)
Can you feel that (oh god)
van der Vaart’s gonna get subbed tonight…
[Chorus]
It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just wanna sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain’t about the (JD) Off-side Off-side
Aint about the (Orish) On-loan On-loan
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag
[Park Lane]
Yeah yeah
Levy pay any price tag
No need for money back guarantee
Forget about Jan, just give me world-class, give me glee
How about that La Liga Kun Sergio? Does he have a better goal ratio?
Otherwise kiss goodbye to Bale, Luka, so gotta bolster our portfolio
And all we...
Yes all we need is a striker
Unlike Berba one that won’t leave us for United
Let's not be stuck with playing Chirpy, cause I won’t be so delighted
It’s like this man, you pay up, don't be blinded
We dare to do so we fight and sacrifice for every glory night
Got to look to go all the way, believe, we just might
Waiting to see, a sign for a DVD uh uh
So we gon' keep everyone marching on their feet
So bring back the drummer and everybody sing
It’s not about…
[Chorus x2]
It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just badly need a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain’t about the (tall) Cra-Crouch Cra-Crouch
Aint about the (russian) Pav-Pling Pav-Pling
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag.
It’s not about the money, money, money
Levy will spend our money, money, money
We just have to sign a striker,
Forget about the Price Tag
Ain’t about the (JD) Off-side Off-side
Aint about the (Orish) On-loan On-loan
Wanna make a signing,
Forget about the Price Tag.
[Spooky - Outro]
Yeah yeah
oo-oooh
Forget about the price tag, just make a summer signing...
This was part 5 of the International Break Diary II
#4 Adventures in lucid dreaming, part I
#3 Back in the day, isn't half as good as it is now
#2 The Spurs Madrid El Clásico
#1 Hands up if you want to stand up at football matches
