England? Whatever. Come on you Spurs.

The dust has settled. But now we have even more dust to deal with. Millions upon millions of pesky particles, clogging up everything in their path and our sight, leaving us with very little to see. We are helpless. Not a lot we can do about it either, other than remain patient for the gust of wind which will thankfully divert the dust storm away allowing us to once more see clearly again. Unfortunately we won't be saved until the 11th of September. Until then, joy-riding tumble-weeds is as good as it's gonna get.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It's that time again. Welcome to the International Break.

Jesus wept.

I'm still hurting bad from the World Cup debacle. A shambolic display by the Three Lions, moaning and groaning, swollen and bleeding paws. No Androcles to pull the thorns out. We would have won it had we taken early season Ballon d'Or candidate Theo, no doubt. I'll be watching on Friday, but can't say I'll be doing so with much excitable effort. I mean for a start, no Tommy Huddlestone. He's got no experience, they say! How can he gain experience if he's not selected, they shout back! New England; my hairy backside. First Hoddle, now this. C-O-N-S-P-I-R-A-C-Y.

I want to skip this international BS and jump straight back into my much needed fix of EPL and guaranteed redemption (don't let me down) from our players so we can quickly forget about the Wigan hiccup. Will probably spend the time between now and the weekend after next downloading Sasha Grey's complete back catalogue and trying to blag myself an iphone 4 (seriously, I will whore the blog out sponsorship wise, for an iphone 4, so get the **** on it, I'm this cheap and this desperate. For the record, all disposable income goes on baby spooky who spends all her disposable time disposing herself in nappies. iphone 4 required for development work for this blog, and stuff).

Any ways, low point moment out of the way, I may as well take this opportunity to reflect on the transfer window that has just closed up.

How thin is the line between happy and sad? Very thin. Had we not gone in for vdV, we'd all be near suicidal about the lack of anything sexy happening and how we've blatantly missed the opportunity to really give 4th spot and the CL a right royal go by not purchasing a brand spanking new unlocker-of-doors type of player.

Cue flashback  to windows of the past. Blue screen of death. Reinstall required. No CD or cab files found. Downgrade to ME. Might as well go back to pen and paper.

But this time round we didn't disappoint. We got ourselves a last minute nifty upgrade. An unexpected service patch. Rejoice.

Spurs and their roller-coaster. It never stops, so you can never get off it. We have riches of talent and versatility and lush tactical candy to gorge on. Between now and Xmas, it's down to Harry to work out the best formation for domestic and European tasks in hand. We need to be able to flow, swagger and kill.

We can then re-visit the forward conundrum in the new year. 4-5-1 might mean we need a further upgrade in the striking positions. By 'might' I mean 'FRIGGING SIGN SOMEONE YESTERDAY FFS'. Why say this when the players (minus Keane) got us 4th last season?

Do you really need it answered? Go on then.

It's mainly because Keane is spent, Pav is not excelling in any great way, Crouch is great to have in the squad but isn't prolific but might be on our continental travels, and Defoe will always score (as well as always lose out to the offside flag). It's about ambition on and off the pitch. When you endeavour to step up a level, then you need to step it up in terms of quality. And it's all a bit mis-mashed in this particular area. More than decent. Honestly, feet firmly on ground, it's a good strike-force. But that shouldn't stop us improving it more so.

Obviously, it's all within our means. We can't attract top top TOP end quality, but you feel there is a next-level-forward that would fit the role perfectly at WHL. I think. Someone out there, must be one. If our scouts are struggling they should wait for Football Manager 2011 to be released and sign any European striker with a current rating of 170 with a potential rating of 188.

Is Andri Sigporsson available?

I guess we'll just have to wait for the right player and have faith in us finding and signing him. In the mean time, players like Keane (rejuvenation) and Pav (confidence) might yet prove to be useful if their personal demons can be defeated. Jig Robbie jig, damn it, jig! Pav, something in Russian Pav, something in Russian, and Louis Vuitton manbags!

But let's worry about this only if we have to, only if we mis-fire up to the opening of the next window. In the mean time, on with gorging on creative cake.

Huddlestone. Lennon. Bale. Modric. Kranjčar. dos Santos. van der Vaart. Ridiculous (still waiting on Premier League ratification on the last one).

Embrace the lack of egos (we'll have to wait and see how long vdV behaves himself). But for now, we have a team. United, with less of the Utd and more of the Hot. The giant has woken up. Granted, he's still in his pyjamas and slippers, but it's only a brisk walk to the bathroom to freshen up. No falling asleep on the toilet, k? Get dressed, dapper, and get to work.

All smiles thank you very much, because we can't be not smiling. You've heard the song.

As for England. If I want to watch a*seholes getting licked, I think I might just stick with Sasha thank you very much and not bother with ITV.

COYS.


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