What exactly does Jermaine Jenas do?

Its a question for the ages. Jermaine Jenas - what does he do exactly? It's one that splits a family in two, puts people on streets. For every person who defends him, there's one fifty who slate him. Yet everyone involved within football (managers) persist in his inclusion and selection. If England manages have seen something the fans have somehow missed, week in and week out.

Is JJ mis-understood? Jose rates him high enough to select him for his fantasy football team. He must be good then, innit? No? Hmm.

This impossible question has to be placed to bed once and for all*.

 *No frigging chance.