The Tweets of Heurelho Gomes

(translated into English)


Made toast. Dropped it. Butter side up. Made more toast. Dropped it. Butter side up. Made another round of toast. Dropped. Butter side up.

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There is a trend developing here. Perhaps I should not butter my toast.

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Cruz, my pet cat brushed my leg and I collapsed in agony. I cried.

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At training. Penalty practice has began. No one has scored. Yet to take up my position.

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Still training, jogging. Saw birds nest blow in wind, egg falling. About 20 feet away.

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Run towards falling egg, impossible to reach, dived, one arm out-reached, caught egg with finger tips.

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Gave egg to Spurs fan in tree with binoculars and asked him to return it to the nest.

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Brushed up against some stinging nettle. The pain was intense. I collapsed in agony. And cried.

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Left car keys in changing room. Daws throws them at me. I place my hands up to catch. I miss. Don't understand, my positioning was good.

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Back home. Knock on door. Spurs fan with his wife. Fourth one this week I'm allowed to sleep with. The wife. Not him.

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Alan Hansen on Match of the Day. I collapsed in agony. And cried.