Phrases for Sandro in preparation for life at THFC

Sandro is apparently learning to speak English in preparation for any potential arrival to the EPL. Although it would equally came in handy for the Brazilian midfielder to have a basic grasp of our esteemed universal lingo if he happens to join a club on the continent and any country that doesn't understand his native tongue. Because everyone speaks English, innit. Especially the officials in those CL games that we get to watch on tv.

So, thought I'd help him out with some all-important must-know phrases he would no doubt have to use if he decided Spurs would be his new European home. See you in the summer Sandy baby.


"You cannot be serious?"

(to any Howard Webb decision made)


"Do you know who I am?"

(for entry into any Essex or West End night club)


"Of course one day I would like to play for Real Madrid"

(for those exclusive interviews with tabloid journalists when making sure nothing is lost in translation)


"Gaffer, why am I on the bench again?"

(when dropped to make way for Jermaine Jenas)


"Michael, you have your penis on display"

(any random live game on Sky Sports)


"Hey Tommy, pass me the mayo"

(at the canteen in the Lodge, on the coach to away games, in the dressing room at half-time, in the showers post-match etc)


"I am the walrus, Goo goo g' joob"

(to Roman Pavlyuchenko, who will simply smile and wave back at you)