The Alan Davies Guide to Supporting Arsenal

The 7-step Guide

1) Get into football because your mates like it

2) Read Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby

3) Nothing before the year 1996 is relevant so do not refer to the pre-Wenger era unless quoting something from Fever Pitch

4) Bang on about Spurs not winning trophies, ironically failing to grasp the fact that Arsenal have gone 4 years without any silverware

5) If you're a talentless comedian, take time out from a second-rate panel show and appear on Soccer AM because that will help perputate you as a true fan and win over all the Tarquins watching

6) Make up stuff about Spurs fans i.e. Spurs fans think they're gonna win the league and bang on about it because you think it will help perputate you as a true fan and win over all the Tarquins watching

7) Always order the ribs at half-time