9-1. Frolicsome. Lap it up.

Unbelievable, I'm still trembling with glee on the back of this epic buzz. What a result. What a result. Jedward, finally voted off the X-Factor. Superb. Oh, and Spurs won 9-1.

In my match preview, I made one or two simple requests:

We need the team to give us a confident performance. That’s one that sees us play well, dominate possession and swagger it with tasty end product. One that keeps us 4th in the table.

No banana skin frolics or daft defending.

Prediction? I'm going for a home win.

Honestly chaps, 3-0 would have done me just fine. No complaints about the dismantling of lickle Wigan. We were lethal, clinical and swaggered around like pimps in fur coats gripping diamond studded canes. It's all about the game, and we were game on. There have been plenty of teams who have defended shockingly in the past but the opposition still has to punish them for it. These type of results don't happen often. It's a rare combination that includes not just the welcomed ingredient of the opposition crumbling under the pressure but for the side dishing out the spanking to be completely on fire, all cylinders positively bursting. We deserved what we got and the same can be said of Wigan. They simply couldn't handle the hot Spurs.

Lennon was irresistible, tearing it up, dribbling, hugging the touchline, cutting in, teasing, pin-point crossing, assist after assist after assist. Unplayable. Niko schemed, play-making to his hearts content which included one moment of brilliance that saw him flick the ball over a defenders head and then play a perfect 30 yard pass (obviously with the outside of his foot) into the path of Defoe who had his shot saved. One of the rare occasions that JD wasn't wheeling away to celebrate. Five goals, only the 3rd time a Prem player has achieved such a feat, which included a 7 minute hat-trick. Ridiculous. Even David Bentley managed a worthy cameo, hitting a splendid free-kick (that came back off Chris Kirkland and in) and setting up Niko for the 9th. And to think it was 1-0 at half time.

3-D special edition dvd blatantly in post-production.

Keane sat out the game on the bench (conspiracy clause theory RIP) with JD and Crouch leading the front-line. Hudd with Wilson in the middle, Azza back on the right and Niko starting on the left. The depressives amongst us would pose the question…where's the strength in the middle? Having Palacios as the only defensive player considering the way Sunderland outplayed us last time out might have left a few scratching heads over our potential fragility. But no repeat concerns here. We started well and other than perhaps the latter stages of the first half looked to be in control. Lennon tormenting Edman and crossing for Crouch for 1-0 as early as the 9th minute. Solid stuff. Dare I say balanced? Ok, so the opposition wasn't world-class, but neither was Stoke at the Lane and looked what happened there.

This was simply the perfect performance for the occasion. Devestating.

Relentless pace on one side and sexual football on the other. Aaron and Niko bossed it. A goal-assisting factory, oozing out chance after chance after chance - effortlessly. The passing, crossing, movement was stand-up-on-your-feet majestic at times. Best individual performance of the season thus far from our little rude-boy on the wing. As for Kranjčar? Offensively and defensively sublime. You want swagger bottled up and branded? Look no further than this cracking Croat who had the Ginolas about him as he owned the White Hart Lane turf. Although ownership is a trinity, completed by the irresistible Defoe who bagged himself five (1-2-3-4-5). Faultless display, ruthlessly punishing the luckless Wigan back-line who seemed to collapse on point every time JD moved. He was bang on it, not just with his finishing but his all-round play. That loan spell at Pompey was a masterstroke.

And in the middle a welcomed return to form for our General, breaking up any faint hope of opposition momentum to his hearts content. A defensive paragon of bricks. And let's not forget Tommy Huddlestone. Oh yes. No QE2 jokes. The big man was in his element. Top drawer passing, unlucky not to score. This is the type of game where you forget about any weakness and wish that all opposing teams wore bright orange. If you're wondering, Jenas was on the bench (and not eaten by Tom as part of his pre-match meal) but came on very late in the game, too late to make an impact. Maybe more faith is required on my part in future relating to the conundrum that is the Hudd, as Harry has no qualms in selecting him.

You can hardly fault anyone on the day. Crouch was busy. The defence strong and organised. You know it's a cracking day at the office when forgotten man Bentley shines with a goal (ok, ok, OG) and an assist.

As for the Wigan goal? Hand-ball. Replay? Go on then, why not. Defoe might even manage a double-hat-trick.

8 goals scored in the second half. 5 goals from one man,  3 of them in a 7 minute spell. Lovely. Tottenham Hotspur. She's like a stunning looking girlfriend who too often complains about headaches as you lay in bed despondent, and then makes up for it by fucking your brains out and leaving you jelly-legged on cloud nine.

Also, special mention to Darren Bent.

Good weekend innit?